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THE ADVENTURER'S GUIDE TO EARLY RETIREMENT A COMMON SENSE APPROACH BILLY AND AKAISHA KADERLI Buy it Now!

THE TENNIS TOURNAMENT.... CALCUTTA, JULY'94 Billy and Akaisha Kaderli

This was my first “Calcutta”, and I really had no idea of what to expect. Being the good sport that I am, I decided "what the hell, it’s only twenty pesos to enter (about $6 US) and it’s a social event and should be fun." The way it worked, is that we had forty-six entries. Then at a local bar during happy hour, the better players’ names were placed in one hat and the rest in another. Each of the twenty-three teams were decided by drawing one name from each hat. My partner’s name was Chabello, who was not present, and whom I’d never met, nor seen play! Once the teams were selected, and a few margaritas later, the teams were auctioned off starting at 30 pesos, and with one team going for as much as 140 pesos. All total, 1300 pesos were collected for the 23 teams entered, with the “owners” of the winning team collecting 40%, second place 25%, 1st place consolation round 25% and second place 10%.

BILLY AND TEAM OWNER, JACKIE,  ACCEPTING HER PROCEEDS FROM RUBEN

A few margaritas more and a lot of jaw-boning by excited participants, it was time to go home and mentally prepare. Remember, I said I’ve never met my partner, so it’s set up for me to play with Chabello at 7:00 a.m. the next morning; of course this arrangement is all done in Spanish. So I show up at 7:00 a.m. expecting to “workout” with my new friend, and a couple of other Mexicans whom I’ve never met. We play one set and Chabello and I win 6-2. So I say that’s enough as we have our first match scheduled for 11:00 a.m. and I want to rest my legs and be fresh. “Wait, wait,” say the Mexicans, “you can’t leave -- it’s two out of three sets!” I try to explain but they tell me this IS the tournament!! Well, I get completely revved up and Chabello and I win the next set 6-0.....Mexico, you gotta love it!

NACHO-IAN-BILLY-CHABELLO THE FINALISTS

Many similar events happened with the other ten matches scheduled for that day; Mexicans showing up late and teams and times being all rearranged. The organizer of the tournament is about to throw up her hands in frustration, especially after her team, one of the favorites, was knocked out in the first round, by a “dark horse”, none other than our housemate Paul Terhorst and his new “ringer” partner, Les. The second day goes quite well as all teams must play two matches and by the end of this evening everyone is tired and ready for day number three. The elimination has reduced the number of teams to four, and my first match, the semi-finals, is scheduled against Paul and Les. Chabello and I win this match convincingly, setting the stage for the finals at 5:00 p.m.. Arrangements are made with Chabello to meet at the courts at 4:30 so that we can warm up and discuss strategy.......“We’re Going to the Dance”.

I arrive to find all of the courts full, with the consolation finals being played on the “stadium court” and most of the spectators very happy with the free margaritas they’ve been sampling throughout the afternoon. All of a sudden everyone is my coach telling me, all in Spanish, how I need to play the finals. Finally, now about 5:30 p.m., we get started, warming up and beginning the finals match. Aida, the twenty-eight year old queen of the courts and tennis Pro’s daughter, decides she will referee our match. With a margarita in one hand and a cigarette in the other, an obvious bad call forces us to retire her and she is replaced by Ruben and two other of his “toasted” friends. With the crowd reacting to every great point and every blender full of margaritas, the match gets played out with Chabello and I losing 3-6, 5-7. We all shake hands, with our heads held high, to a job well done. The sky is growing darker and Stetson hat, boot scootin’ Bob Seville starts strumming his amplified six string. We all get “Wasted Away in Margaritaville” as the Mexicans sing their heartbreaking ballads underneath the shining stars. What a tournament it has been here in Chapala.

BILLY & MR. JOE FONTAINE

Billy and Akaisha continue to journal and photograph their world travels.

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